**Why is saying “not all men” an unhelpful response?
When someone speaks on their poor treatment at the hands of men usually a special sausage jumps in to remind them that “not all men” engage in said behaviour. This response does nothing but derail the conversation as the conversation then shifts from the poor treatment to defending the honour of all the good men on earth. That person already knows that not every single man on earth engages in oppressing women directly. Here’s the thing, men enjoy male privilege which comes from other men’s oppression of women. So while as a man you personally may not be oppressing women you are still benefiting from others doing it. For example, you are likely to be paid more than a woman for doing the same job even though you haven’t specifically asked to be paid more. These posts on Everyday Feminism, Slate and Bustle all break down why you should bite your tongue next time you feel the urge to say “not all men”.
**I keep seeing people saying “men are trash” online. What’s that all about?
When someone says “men are trash” someone will usually:
- Interject with tales of how great the men in their life are. Pickmes especially love doing this.
- Say that the woman just chooses the wrong men. This is a sly form of victim blaming.
- Mention something about the woman being bitter.
The statement “men are trash” does not implicate every single man on earth. Only those who are in fact trash – keep that in mind as you read. Here are a couple of reasons why many women feel that “men are trash” is often a valid critique:
Reason Number 1: Men can be quite violent to women.
According to the WHO, overall, 35% of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence. 35% is a hell of a lot of women when you consider the fact that those are the cases that have been reported. And apparently most of this violence is intimate partner violence. And in some places, 38% of women have experienced intimate partner violence and globally, as many as 38% of all murders of women are committed by intimate partners.
In fact here’s a whole page of statistics on men’s violence towards women. Recently Harvey Weinstein got exposed by multiple women for being a predator. This led to other women speaking out on the abuse they had faced at the hands of him and other men. Some asked if sexual assault was really that common. Unfortunately, many of us already knew that it is very common.
Reason Number 2: Men hog the world’s wealth and don’t share it equally with women.
According to a report published by Oxfam, women consistently earn less than men. And apparently it will take 170 years for women to be paid the same as men. Because men have a habit of paying women lower pay for equal work of equal value. And let’s not get started on the gender pay gap. The richest man in the world earns a shit ton more than the richest woman in the world. Don’t believe that? Google it!
Reason Number 3: Women carry out more household chores than men do on average and they don’t get paid for it.
“Even in advanced economies where women generally get educated to the same level as men, men continue to dominate high-income groups and women remain disproportionately responsible for carrying out unpaid work in the home.”