A ride or die chick is a woman that sticks by her man through thick and thin. Sounds pretty great right? We want a partner who is going to be there for us through the difficult times and the good times. That’s a reasonable requirement for a partner. Unfortunately being a ride or die chick seems to be synonymous with being a doormat these days. Here’s a typical scenario:
· A man cheats on his wife repeatedly, betrays her trust and exposes her to STDs. Perhaps the other woman even confronts her and adds to her humiliation.
The advice she receives is to stand by her man and work it out. Men make “mistakes” after all. Some will even tell her how difficult relationships are and what hard work it is! You just stick by him and somehow magically in the future he will stop doing these horrible things and your relationship will even be stronger from it. Think of all the years you’ve been together! This is harmful nonsense.
Fuckboys love this idea of women being ride or dies because it means they can continue to get away with their bad behavior. After all you are meant to be there no matter what right? You’re supposed to be patient while he “finds himself”. It doesn’t matter that in the process YOU are being damaged.
Pickmes and Hops also love to encourage other women to be ride or dies. It’s not enough for them to be doormats – oh no! They have to also recruit others. A typical example is Tammy Riviera from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta who is the wife of Waka Flocka. Waka has cheated on Tammy several times. She did an interview and in it she said:
“Why would I give up on my husband? I’m not that type. I think it’s weak of a woman to do that. It’s easier to walk away as opposed to speaking up! No, we’re going to fight for this. We got married. My family is worth fighting for.”
Tammy decided to give Waka another chance – that is her choice. However, implying that it’s weak to leave a cheater is dangerous. You don’t need to put up with anyone’s bullshit to prove that you are worthy or a good woman. It is worrying to see so many women accept the idea that they have to tolerate abuse from men and if they just hold on they will come out victorious in the end. It is worrying to see so many women accept this idea that they have to be patient when confronted with fuckery. Even if he somehow changes later, at what cost to you?
So here’s a radical idea, fire men at the first instance of fuckery. He cheats on you? Dump him. He calls you names? Dump him. He belittles you or makes you feel less than? Dump him. Any behavior that he engages in that is unacceptable or damaging to you should result in him getting dumped. Do not reward men with love when they gift you fuckery. Wake up and stop rewarding bad behavior. Ride or die for YOURSELF.
Anything else is you betraying yourself.