This is a guest post by one of my oldest friends @Echecrates. He’s a recovering Fuckboy and as part of his penance he has agreed to spill the tea on Fuckboyism and provide an insight into the mind of a Fuckboy. Have you ever wondered what goes on inside the mind of a Fuckboy? Keep reading and find out. Make sure you take notes and learn from this ladies.
A Fuckboy is a liar, a cheat and he does not keep his word. The ultimate Fuckboy does all of those things simultaneously and even more. Fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes. The Fuckboy can be your daddy, your grandpa, brother, friend, cousin or even your mailman. But instead of talking about this abstract Fuckboy, I’m here to talk about my Fuckboy ways and this is in some respect a confession.
It took me a while but I’ve come to learn and understand that my treatment of women was ultimately destructive to them. I have cheated in almost every relationship that I’ve been in. Sometimes I cheated because I was bored, sometimes I cheated purely out of lust but mostly I cheated simply because I could get away with it. Looking back at it now, I understand that my actions were wrong and I’ve come to see the horrible impact some of these decisions have had on those women.
As a Fuckboy, I did whatever I wanted to do and the women I picked had to endure it. I know some men specifically pick out prey to hunt but in my case some of the women just fell into my lap. There are so many women out there who haven’t begun their journey of self love so it’s easy for them to fall prey to any man who comes bearing mediocre gifts.
As a Fuckboy, I was charming and an absolute gentleman. I didn’t give off any “weird vibes”. For the most part I’m probably someone you would feel safe around. But just because a man is polite and charming does not mean he won’t break your heart into little pieces. We go for women who have low self worth or lack self love because they’ll never know what it means to enforce boundaries. Knowing your boundaries is one thing, enforcing those same boundaries is a whole other matter.
Is cheating really a deal breaker for you if you are willing to take me back if I promise to change?
A Fuckboy feels entitled, we run away from every form of accountability or responsibility for our actions. We will hurt, lie and cheat just to get what we want. The best part is that we believe we are entitled to do all of these things and more. Women who lack self love and the ability to enforce strong boundaries are easy prey for a Fuckboy. A Fuckboy will prey on your insecurities, he will emotionally manipulate and abuse you. All with charm and a smile on his face.
I’ve talked about Fuckboys going after women who lack self love, it’s important to understand that the Fuckboy lacks self love as well. The Fuckboy isn’t this superior predator or person who is doing something special by hunting. We often think that we are though. People who lack self love and healthy boundaries are often drawn to each other because they try to fill that void with destructive behavior.
The Fuckboy thrives off making you think that red flags are more a shade of green than red. He will promise to change repeatedly and you will fall for it.
Stay woke out here beloved.
One thing stands out here to me. To a Fuckboy, forgiveness or giving grace is seen as weakness. They see forgiveness as an invitation to continue to treat you badly. That is why I always say that “Giving grace to an abuser will get you got.” It is important to remember that.
Got a Fuckboy story? I want to hear all about it. Submit your story here.